she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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