I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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