I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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