I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
