There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize