last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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