fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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