I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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