Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize