dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I looked at my own cervix.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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