apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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