your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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