Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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