In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
