This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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