like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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