So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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