it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
These tits shall not be calmed
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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