She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
