one might say we're banned from that church
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
