i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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