Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
