Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
