marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
