in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
