If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
