why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
