Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize