i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i think i just lost a toe
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
