that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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