So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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