you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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