So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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