ugly people sure do ruin things
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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