Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
