I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
