Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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