yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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