i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
