mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
