it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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