hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You have to summon your inner elephant
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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