was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
two words...techno handjob
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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