Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
