then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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