I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
