If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
