maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
