worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
