Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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