try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
