Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
