all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
