Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
