This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
