okay pat passed out under dana's car
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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