she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My penis needs a shock collar
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i think i just lost a toe
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Why is there bacon in the couch?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
