She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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