I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Rumble strips road head = magical
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
