She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
