i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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