i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
