i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
