I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
