is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
