So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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