so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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