More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
