just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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