And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
